The Naming of Cats by T.S.Elliott

The Naming of Cats

by

T S Elliot

The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, or George or Bill Bailey -
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter -
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular,
A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum -
Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover -
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.

Ο γάτος που λέγαμε...του ΔΗΜΗΤΡΗ ΓΚΙΩΝΗ

Ο γάτος που λέγαμε...του ΔΗΜΗΤΡΗ ΓΚΙΩΝΗ

Image Copyright 1999-2007 by Paul Dickinson Goodman

Αποκριά με... γατοκουβέντα Στις 27 Δεκεμβρίου 2008 είχα αφιερώσει την παρούσα σελίδα σ' έναν γάτο, ο οποίος είχε προκύψει σε φιλική οικογένεια από το νεότερο μέλος της.

Τον είχε βρει βρέφος, κατάμονο και μερικώς ανάπηρο - δεν μπορούσε να πάρει τα πόδια του. Με τη φροντίδα της οικογένειας κατάφερε να πάρει απάνω του, να φτιάξουν κάπως τα πόδια του, σε σημείο να μπορεί να περπατάει, μ' έναν περιέργο λικνιστικό τρόπο, αλλά πάντως χωρίς βοήθεια.

Αλλά ενώ επρόκειτο να παραμείνει στο σπίτι ώσπου να αναλάβει, οπότε ο σωτήρας του θα τον έπαιρνε στη δουλειά του, συνέβη αυτό που συμβαίνει λίγο - πολύ με όλα σ' αυτό τον τόπο: το προσωρινό έγινε μόνιμο, προσθέτοντας έναν μπελά στην οικογένεια, που χρεώθηκε αυτό που είχε αποφύγει ώς τότε: τη φροντίδα ενός από αυτά που έχουν βαφτιστεί κατοικίδια.

Εν πάση περιπτώσει, το κακό έγινε -ο γάτος προστέθηκε στα μέλη της οικογένειας, με ό,τι συνεπάγεται, μ' αυτό το κράμα αγάπης και λύπης (ό,τι πιο μπελαλίδικο σε μια σχέση, ειδικότερα όταν το δεύτερο είναι ισχυρότερο του πρώτου).

Θα πρέπει εδώ να πω ότι για το κείμενο εκείνο έλαβα τα περισσότερα μηνύματα (μέχρι και φιλιά για το γάτο), σε σημείο που άρχισα ν' αναρωτιέμαι μήπως πήρα τη δημοσιογραφική μου ζωή λάθος, μήπως θα 'πρεπε να πάψω ν' ασχολούμαι με ανθρώπους και να καταπιαστώ με τα ζώα - τις γάτες εν προκειμένω, δεδομένου ότι τους σκύλους περιποιείται αρκούντως, χρόνια τώρα, κάθε Δευτέρα με μία ολόκληρη σελίδα, ο συνάδελφος Παναγιώτης Διαμαντής. Αλλά είναι πλέον αργά... Στην προσωπική μου ζωή άλλωστε, αν άντεχα τη φροντίδα του, θα προτιμούσα έναν σκύλο· κι άντε, αν είχα εξοχικό, έναν γάιδαρο, που όσο πάνε και λιγοστεύουνε σ' αυτό τον τόπο - παραμένοντας όμως ως κοσμητικό επίθετο (άδικο βεβαίως για τα πραγματικά γαϊδούρια) σε μερικά δίποδα.

Ροΐδη εγκώμιον

Μέρα που είναι σήμερα, συν τις δύο άλλες που ακολουθούν, θέλοντας να ξεφύγω από τη συνηθισμένη ύλη της σελίδας, αφιερώνω την παρούσα σε όλους τους γάτους (που είναι και από τις πιο προσφιλείς αποκριάτικες μεταμφιέσεις, κατά μίμηση της κινηματογραφικής Catwoman και του μιούζικαλ «Cats») και τους ευτυχείς κατόχους τους, καθώς άλλωστε παρουσιάζουν και λογοτεχνικό ενδιαφέρον.

Ο εκ Θεσσαλονίκης φίλος, καθηγητής Στέλιος Παπαθανασίου, είχε την καλοσύνη, μόλις διάβασε το... γατοκομμάτι μου, να μου στείλει ένα εκτενές πόνημα του Εμμανουήλ Ροΐδη με τίτλο «Ιστορία μιας γάτας», που πρωτοδημοσιεύτηκε στις 22 Δεκεμβρίου 1893 στην εφημερίδα «Αστυ». Ενας ύμνος στα γατιά, τα οποία καταφανώς λάτρευε ο συγγραφέας της «Πάπισσας Ιωάννας», ως τα μόνα που ανήκουν «εις το βασιλικόν γένος των αιλουροειδών», ως «πρωτοξάδελφα της τίγρεως, του πάνθηρος και του λέοντος», όπως επισημαίνει με την υπέροχη καθαρεύουσά του.

Και πιο κάτω: «Φύσει ων αριστοκρατικός ο γάτος αποστρέφεται την υπερβολικήν οικειότητα, την αδιακρισίαν και ιδίως πάσαν αξίωσιν περιορισμού της απολύτου αυτού ανεξαρτησίας. Υπεραγαπά μεν τας θωπείας, αλλά μόνον όταν έχη όρεξιν αυτών» (παρεμπιπτόντως οι κάτοχοι του γάτου στον οποίο αναφέρομαι είδαν κι έπαθαν να πάρουν τη φωτογραφία που συνοδεύει το παρόν κείμενο, καθώς αρνιόταν να ποζάρει).

Λαπαθιώτης - Ελύτης

Ο Ροΐδης αναφέρεται σε προσωπικότητες του παρελθόντος που λάτρευαν τους γάτους, στους οποίους θα πρέπει να προστεθούν και μερικοί πιο κοντινοί μας. Οπως ο ποιητής Ναπολέων Λαπαθιώτης, ο οποίος στην αυτοβιογραφία του «Η ζωή μου» (κυκλοφόρησε πρόσφατα σε φιλολογική επιμέλεια Γιάννη Παπακώστα, εκδ. «Κέδρος») κάνει εγκωμιαστική μνεία στους γάτους:

«Αλλ' αν τα ζώα γενικά τα συμπαθώ, η γάτα είναι η προτίμησή μου: το σιωπηλό, μυστηριώδες αυτό λεπτούργημα, που με συγκινεί σαν κάτι δικό μου, σαν ένα κομμάτι της ψυχής μου! Με συγκινεί σαν καλλιτέχνη και σαν άνθρωπο. Κι όσοι την αγαπούν, καθώς εγώ, δεν είναι δυνατόν, κατά τη γνώμη μου, παρά να είναι οι λεπτοί κι οι ραφιναρισμένοι».

Ανάλογα αισθήματα εκφράζει ο Οδυσσέας Ελύτης σε ευχαριστήρια επιστολή προς τον Νίκο Δήμου, γνωστό για τη λατρεία του στα εν λόγω τετράποδα, στα οποία έχει αφιερώσει ολόκληρη ποιητική συλλογή, «Το βιβλίο των γάτων», που του έστειλε. Οπου, αφού δηλώνει παλαιός φίλος, μελετητής και συνομιλητής κεραμιδόγατων, προσθέτει: «Ζηλεύω που δεν αξιώθηκα ώς τώρα να κάνω κάτι ανάλογο γι' αυτά τα περήφανα και αυτάρκη πλάσματα».

Ενα ακόμη πρόσφατο ενδιαφέρον... γατοπόνημα είναι το ογκώδες «Γατικό Λεξικό» του Νίκου Δ. Πλατή (εκδ. «Κέδρος»), «περιέχον οτιδήποτε, σχεδόν, αφορά τους γάτους και τις γάτες».

Τελειώνοντας, κι επειδή οι συμπεριφορές των γάτων παραλληλίζονται συχνά με εκείνες των γυναικών, να θυμίσω ότι είναι αρκούντως κολακευτικό (και χαϊδευτικό) να αποκαλείται μια γυναίκα γάτα, αλλά άκρως προσβλητικό να αποκαλείται σκύλα. *

How-To: Catnip Castle

How-To: Catnip Castle

Catnip Castle
A kitty playground we can all enjoy!
By Julia Szabo

As a pet lifestyle expert, I'm often asked the question, "What do cats want?" The answer is simple: A fun outlet for their instinctive needs to scratch and climb. Unfortunately, most commercial pet playgrounds consist of towers (aka "cat condos") and scratching posts swathed in hideous nylon broadloom.

If you dread displaying these eyesores at home, you can now make your very own Catnip Castle. Easy to craft out of corrugated cardboard, it mounts to the wall, niftily saving room in small spaces. While the Castle's sculptural lines are aesthetically appealing, it also works as furniture insurance, keeping Kitty's claws gainfully occupied.

Materials and Tools

Jigsaw
Glue gun
Corrugated cardboard pads measuring 36"×48" Available in bundles of 50 from uline.com. You only need 35 boards, but it's good to have extra so you can select the most perfect ones.
Hand saw or reciprocating saw
3/8" and 9/32" wood drill bits, 6" or longer
Dried, loose catnip
Cat treats Liv-a-Littles cod treats (halopets.com) work exceptionally well.
Power drill
3/8" washers, 2" diameter (4)
Ratchet with 1/2" socket
8"×3/8" lag bolts (4)
No. 2 pencil
Carpenter's glue
Paint brush, wallpaper brush, and trim guide for spreading glue Available at paint supply stores.
Sharp utility/camping knife I prefer Spyderco.
Level
48" rule
Heavy objects to weigh down glued boards I used a large piece of plywood, plus several unopened bags of plaster (not shown).
Powerful vacuum cleaner I like the Dyson Animal (not shown).

Directions

Step 1: Glue cardboard together.

1a. Pour carpenter's glue generously onto the center of the first board, then spread the glue out with the brush and trim guide. Take care not to pour it on too thick near the edges, or the glue will seep out, leaving unsightly ooze that dries yellow. Lay the next board on top of the glued board, taking care to match up the corners, and repeat until you've attached 10 cardboard pads together. Repeat this process with the next 10 pads. Finally, glue 15 pads together the same way. You now have 2 cardboard blocks of 10-pad thickness and 1 of 15-pad thickness.

1b. Carefully place something heavy and flat over each stack, such as a piece of plywood, taking care not to shift the boards, and leave to dry and adhere for several hours, or even overnight.

Step 2: Create a design.

I explain how to create an abstract castle featuring a tall central tower flanked by a battlement on either side. Of course design possibilities are limitless, and whether you want to duplicate my design or create your own is up to you.

Take one of the stacked pads and, following the diagram shown here, start at one 48" edge and mark the following points with your rule: 6", 21", 27", and 42". Then mark 6" up from the bottom at all 4 points, and rule the lines down to those points. Repeat with the other 2 stacks.

Note: If you're designing your own cat pad, plan ahead and draw a diagram on graph paper before beginning the project.

Step 3: Saw and adhere.

3a. Saw carefully along the lines drawn. Repeat until all 3 cardboard stacks have the Castle shape.

To create the "battlements" on either side of the central "tower," rule a line 10" down from the top on each, and saw carefully along the lines. Remember to keep your jig saw moving; if you need to stop in the middle of a line, do not turn off the saw; keep it running or you'll produce a raggedy effect.

When you saw through the section that's 15 pads thick, you will need to complete the sawing job with a handsaw (I used a pull saw) or reciprocating saw with a long enough blade.

3b. Check the edges of each section carefully. You want them to be securely glued. If they're not, they will come apart and fan out a bit at the edges. If this happens, carefully use a glue gun to insert hot glue between the boards, then press them together again.

3c. Glue together the 3 sections comprising the Castle, so that you now have a stack of 35 pads. Stacked and glued together, 35 boards will measure approximately 5¾" deep.

As before, weigh them down until they are dry, carefully keeping the edges as flush as possible. Repeat with the 3 sections that comprise the stepping blocks.

Q: I've cut out the Castle and glued the 3 stacks together, and now I notice a few uneven edges. How can I smooth them out?

A: You can smooth down any offending imperfections with a jigsaw, or a reciprocating saw with a blade at least 6" long. Before using the jigsaw to carve out the rectangular steps (15"×30") that lead up to the Castle, first make a pilot cut pointing straight down at each corner with your utility/camping knife to ensure the cleanest possible corners.

Step 4: Size to fit.

Customize the design so that it works most efficiently in your space. The number of corrugated stepping blocks you will need to provide for Kitty to reach the Castle depends on the height of your ceiling. If it's low, you'll need only 1 on each side; higher ceilings will require 2 on each side.

Because my wall is only about 8' high, I needed only 1 step on either side of the Castle for Kitty to reach her goal, so I divided one of my 15"×30" blocks equally into 3 sections measuring 10"×15" each.

If you have a taller ceiling, you can use the 10" long pieces you sawed off to create the battlements as 2 additional, smaller steps, or saw the third 10"×15" section in half. If you'd prefer 2 taller steps, saw the second 15"×30" block in half lengthwise for two 7½"×30" steps, and shorten by sawing as desired.

Alternatively, you can also attach your Castle to a wall above a piece of furniture, such as a sofa or chest of drawers. With that configuration, Kitty can use the furniture as a springboard to reach the Castle.

Step 5: Install.

5a. To determine your Castle location, find the studs in your wall. An electronic stud detector is a wonderful thing, and if you know someone who has one, by all means borrow it. I used the more primitive divining method of knocking at the walls.

Note: You'll need different supplies depending on the type of wall. If your wall has aluminum studs (as ours did), you'll need only the supplies listed, plus a wood bit. If you're working with a brick-and-concrete wall, you'll need to drill holes with a masonry bit, then use a hammer to insert lag shields measuring 3/8"×1¾", to serve as anchors for the lag bolts.

5b. Use a pencil to mark the wall where the Castle's top edge will go, and use a level (this is a large item, and if it's not level, it will look sadly amateurish). It's important that the Castle be attached solidly to the wall so it doesn't wobble; if it moves when Kitty first jumps on it, she won't feel safe jumping on it again.

For petite Mademoiselle, I centered 2 bolts on the central tower plus one for each stepping block. (For a heavier cat or multiple cats, 2 bolts per stepping block are recommended, plus one centered on each battlement.)

5c. Use a pencil to mark the first drill hole 3" up from the bottom of the tower, and the second one 10" from the tower top, aligned with the top of the battlements.

For the stepping blocks, avoid placing your drill hole at the center, or the block is liable to spin around and deter Kitty. I centered it 3" down from the top (narrow) edge.

5d. Using a 3/8" drill bit long enough to go through the 6" of cardboard, drill through your pencil markings all the way to the other side.

5e. Have a friend help you hold the Castle up to the wall, lining it up with the marks you made for the top edge, and insert a pencil into each hole to mark where you'll be drilling on the wall (this helps ensure accuracy). Then lay the Castle back down on the floor and drill 2" into the wall at each marked point, with the 9/32" drill bit.

5f. Put each lag bolt and washer together, then insert into the drill holes. Using a rachet, screw into the wall until snug.

Note: Tighten until the cardboard surrounding the bolts is compressed slightly, as shown (you don't want them too tight or too loose).

Step 6: Say "Here, Kitty, Kitty!"

To attract Kitty to her new playground, rub it thoroughly with organic dried catnip. Crush the catnip between your fingers to release the aroma and make it extra fragrant. Then rub catnip all over the sawn surfaces, using extra for the sides of the central tower to lure her up there. If Kitty isn't compelled to make the initial leap, insert small pieces of her favorite dry treat in the corrugate openings — that'll get her moving.

So, how does the Castle rate with the toughest customer, a domestic shorthair cat? Mademoiselle, my pastel calico model, wouldn't say, but her reaction spoke volumes. As soon as the Castle was installed, she promptly got busy connecting with her inner tiger, navigating the vertical maze, scratching, stretching, leaping, pausing calmly atop a battlement to groom herself and purr with satisfaction, and generally regarding the Catnip Castle as her royal domain.

About the Author:

Julia Szabo is the author of Animal House Style: Designing a Home to Share with Your Pets (Bulfinch Press). To read more about her work with animals and design, visit animalhousestyle.com.

How To Talk To Your Cat Book

Listen! Your cat is talking to you – your cat is telling you how much she loves you. Watch! – the special friend who shares your life has so much to say to you about their feelings and needs... if only you knew how to listen and what to look for.

Open up a whole new communication between you and your pet!

If you’re a cat lover like me, and wish to communicate better with your pet for a deeper, more loving relationship, then you’ll want to find out how to talk to your cat. And that’s where a new guide – ‘YOUR TALKING CAT’ – can really help you… especially when it comes to understanding what your cat is actually saying – not just what you think she is saying.

Yes, your cat really does talk to you in her own way – and you can understand her if you know what to look for. But there’s a lot more to cat talk than just ‘meow’. And each has its own special meaning! Cats also talk in body language – with ears, whiskers, eyes and tail… with their poses and movements... using facial expressions and also purrs or hisses to tell us what they want.




Can you read your cat as well as your cat can read you?

Cats have a lot more going for them than most people realise... for example, they are scientifically proven to possess certain telepathic powers for ‘reading’ the true mind-set of a human companion within seconds of observation!

Hard to believe? Read in ‘YOUR TALKING CAT’ what a celebrated cat-assisted therapist says about her hundreds of documented experiences creating conversations’ between cats and people.

Learn the most important steps to mastering your cats language... discover how your cat can help you decipher her messages at a glance.

See yourself, and everyone around you, through your cat’s eyes! ‘YOUR TALKING CAT’ shows you how to interpret your cat’s meows, facial expressions and often intricate body language, and answers fascinating mysteries of feline behaviour such as:

Your questions answered...

• Why your cat rubs you to show affection... and how best to show her yours.
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• Why your cat always seems to come over when you’re reading or doing paperwork... and the ultimate toy to distract him.
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• How your cat knows, long before people, when a disaster is about to take place.
• What kinds of toys and games your cat likes best.
• Why your cat may panic if you oversleep.
• Why your cat loves exploring open pipes or even inside paper bags.
• How many hours your cat sleeps a day.
• And many, many other questions answered.

But that’s not all – there’s more, including a ‘cat talk’ chart translating your cat’s language, so you’ll know when your pet is happiest... and illustrated charts of feline facial expressions and tail positions that reveal the range of your cat’s moods and feelings.

You’ll never see your cat the same way again!

You may be surprised to discover the true depth and strength of the bonds of affection that exist between you and your cat once you understand her unique language of communication... when you learn the secret of how to talk to your cat.

Think of it – no more being totally ignored by your independent cat… you’ll soon be on your way to a closer relationship when your cat realises that you understand his or her own language… and that you can make yourself understood, too!

If you’ve always wondered what your cat is thinking and why she does some of the funny things she does, this working manual belongs on your bookshelf.

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Windsor Products

Meowlot - Wine for Cats

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Meowlot

When you are in the mood for a Merlot, they can savor a Meowlot. The subtle hint of fragrant aromas present in the Bark Vineyards Meowlot is a combination with which to peak the interest of all furry friends (dogs love it too). As a bonus to any meal this au jus’ is a taste pleaser and sure to be enjoyed by all.

Ingredients:

Water, dehydrated chicken broth, potato flakes, dehydrated carrot, lactic acid, xanthan gum, dehydrated parsley, garlic powder, dehydrated oregano.

barkvineyards

The Mean Kitty Song